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Coaches can also help you create and manage your professional image, which can have a significant impact on how others see you. Your professional image is the way you present yourself to others, both in-person and online. It encompasses everything from your appearance and communication style to your social media presence and personal brand.
Here are some ways in which a coach can help you make others see you through the image you created:
Build a personal brand: A coach can help you build a personal brand that reflects your values, skills, and expertise. Your personal brand should be consistent across all your online and offline channels, and it should communicate your unique value proposition to potential employers or clients.
Improve your communication skills: A coach can help you improve your communication skills, including your verbal and non-verbal communication, listening skills, and emotional intelligence. Effective communication is critical for building relationships and influencing others.
Develop a confident and authentic presence: A coach can help you develop a confident and authentic presence that aligns with your personal brand. This includes developing your body language, tone of voice, and overall demeanor.
Manage your online presence: A coach can help you manage your online presence, including your social media profiles and personal website. This can help you create a professional image that showcases your expertise and builds credibility.
Navigate challenging situations: A coach can help you navigate challenging situations, such as difficult conversations or conflicts with coworkers. By developing your emotional intelligence and communication skills, you can better manage these situations and build stronger relationships with others.
In conclusion, coaches can help you create and manage a professional image that reflects your unique value proposition and helps you stand out in your career. By building a personal brand, improving your communication skills, developing a confident and authentic presence, managing your online presence, and navigating challenging situations, you can make others see you through the image you created, which can help you achieve your career goals.
And always remember:
Great managers are made. Not born.
Leadership is an ever-evolving field, and the definition of what makes a great leader can vary from person to person. However, there is one fundamental belief that I hold as true: all leaders have untapped potential. In my opinion, this belief is rooted in the idea that leadership is not a fixed set of traits or skills that someone is born with but rather a dynamic process that requires continuous learning, self-reflection, and growth.
It is often assumed that leadership development requires following a certain model or set of prescribed behaviors. However, I believe that this approach overlooks the unique potential that each individual leader possesses. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to leadership development, and each person's path to growth will look different. A successful leader is someone who has identified their strengths and weaknesses, and is willing to take steps to develop their skills and overcome their limitations.
Leadership potential exists within all of us, regardless of our background or experience. It is up to each of us to discover and cultivate that potential, and this requires a willingness to step outside of our comfort zones and embrace challenges. It also means recognizing that failure is an inevitable part of growth and being willing to learn from our mistakes.
Effective leadership is not just about having a specific set of skills or traits; it is about being able to adapt to changing circumstances, communicate effectively, and inspire others to achieve a common goal. These qualities are not fixed and can be developed over time. It is important for leaders to focus on continuous learning and self-improvement, and to seek out opportunities for growth and development.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that all leaders can grow, but not because they try harder or follow a certain model. Instead, leaders can grow because they recognize that they have untapped potential and are willing to put in the effort to discover and develop that potential. By embracing challenges, learning from mistakes, and focusing on continuous self-improvement, leaders can unlock their full potential and achieve greater success in their personal and professional lives.
And always remember:
Great managers are made. Not born.
I’ve said it before. There’s a chronic illness plaguing our leaders and it’s called the sin of arrogance. The challenge is that all successful leaders suffer from the sin of arrogance to some degree. And there’s one area where it can create havoc: decision making.
In my previous post (link), I gave some background regarding how the sin of arrogance develops in successful leaders - resulting with all kinds of problems, including derailment of career goals for leaders. Even though no one is immune from the sin of arrogance, it can still be managed. But first, let’s list two major challenges associated with the sin of arrogance:
Coaches can help a leader with an ego make decisions without ego by:
1 Encouraging self-awareness: Coaches can help leaders recognize and become aware of their own ego and how it affects their decision-making process. This can be done through reflective exercises, feedback, and mindfulness practices.
2 Challenging assumptions: Coaches can help leaders challenge their assumptions and question their own thinking. This can help leaders see different perspectives, avoid making snap judgments, and consider alternative solutions.
3 Encouraging collaboration: Coaches can help leaders recognize the value of collaboration and encourage them to seek input from others. This can help leaders make more informed decisions and avoid the pitfalls of relying solely on their own judgment.
4 Fostering a learning mindset: Coaches can help leaders adopt a learning mindset that focuses on continuous improvement and growth. This can help leaders embrace their mistakes, learn from them, and avoid becoming defensive or blaming others.
5 Providing accountability: Coaches can hold leaders accountable for their actions and decisions. This can help leaders avoid the trap of blaming others for their mistakes and encourage them to take ownership of their decisions.
Ultimately, coaches can help leaders recognize that their ego is not a weakness but rather a strength when managed effectively. By developing self-awareness, challenging assumptions, embracing collaboration, fostering a learning mindset, and providing accountability, coaches can help leaders make better decisions without letting their ego get in the way.
And always remember:
Great managers are made. Not born.
I believe that coaches can help leaders with an ego by focusing on certain strategies that can address the Sin of Arrogance. One approach is to encourage leaders to engage in self-reflection and introspection, as this can help them identify and confront their own egos.
Additionally, coaches can help leaders to recognize the value of seeking and accepting feedback from their teams, even when it challenges their own assumptions and beliefs. This can help to counteract the distorted reality that can result from the Sin of Arrogance, and allow leaders to make more logical and effective decisions.
Coaches can also encourage leaders to adopt a more humble and collaborative leadership style, which involves actively listening to the perspectives of others and fostering an environment of mutual respect and trust. This can help to reduce the tendency towards arrogance and promote a more productive and effective team dynamic.
Ultimately, coaching can help leaders to recognize and overcome the pitfalls of their own egos, and develop a more balanced and effective approach to leadership that benefits both themselves and their teams.
And always remember:
Great managers are made. Not born.
Successful career goals for managers require that we constantly improve ourselves, whether it’s how to increase productivity, run our meetings, or manage our teams. The good news about always improving is that we end up with super skills that would require others years of experience to achieve. But surprisingly, our quest for improvement can actually prevent us from getting that next promotion.
Sounds backwards, doesn’t it? After all, we’ve been taught from an early age that improvement is one of the most important keys to standing out from the crowd.
Indeed, this is true. But consider this example. You’re a wiz at planning and running meetings. No one in your organization can do it like you, as you’ve perfected meetings to an art - from creating reader-friendly agendas and accommodating all of the participants to following up on the open issues. In fact, when someone in your organization wants to hold a high-stakes meeting, you’re the address.
Of course, you weren’t born with these meeting super skills. You’ve been perfecting them, bit by bit, for years now. And the more compliments you’ve received over the years, the more energy you’ve put into becoming the company’s resident Meeting Meister.
But let’s consider for a moment what being Meeting Meister might actually have cost you. While you were investing time perfecting l’art du meeting, were you perhaps denying other talents and skills from emerging?
For example, what about that side of you that likes to sit alone and come up with crazy ideas? When was the last time you gave yourself the time and space to just brainstorm? Or have you only allowed such ideas to come up within the framework of a well-oiled meeting?
My point here is that in pursuing improvement, sometimes we find ourselves stuck in certain managerial patterns, earning titles such as “the best at”, often at the expense of developing innate talents we’ve inadvertently muzzled.
If it were our only goal to remain, for example, the Meeting Meister, then this wouldn’t be a problem. But it is, because decision makers want to see well-rounded managers, not just specialists.
And so those managers who are simply known as “the best at…” are eventually left behind, sentenced to life in Middle Management Land.
Preventing such a life sentence requires developing your innate potential so that you can strive towards well-roundedness. I wish there were a magic formula to find out what your potential is, but alas, there isn’t.
Nevertheless, no need to despair because there is a surefire way of finding out what your potential is on your own: give it time and space. Once you let your potential out to breathe, it’ll blossom and become a natural way of shaping how you do things.
I’ll give you an example. Let’s go back to the Meeting Meister. Remember that they are good at planning meetings and making sure everyone participates. But what would happen if the Meeting Meister exercised a more “entrepreneurial spirit” and called an impromptu gathering, limiting the time people could speak? One outcome I’m familiar with is that more ideas might be generated in a shorter timeframe. And as far as the Meeting Meister is concerned, this would naturally feed into their innate talent of quick brainstorming.
So the result here is both a Meeting Meister and an entrepreneurial type of manager, all rolled into one - a much more well-rounded candidate for promotion.
Again, I can’t provide a one size fits all solution for everyone, but if you begin by reducing some of the habits that come most naturally to you, you’ll begin to discover hidden potential you’ve had all along.
Here are some key points to remember:
- Successful career goals for managers include constant improvement.
- An often neglected part of improvement is the hidden potential we’ve all got...
we just have to find it.
- Give yourself time and space to discover your hidden potential by reducing
automatic behaviors.
- A well-rounded manager always tops the promotion list.
And always remember:
Great managers are made. Not born.
What seems to be the dream of every number two in an organization with regard to corporate development career path? To become number one, of course. But becoming number one is much farther than a hop, skip, and a jump.
Mark had spent the last eleven years in two different VP positions - always with one eye on his target: president, the natural pinnacle of a corporate development career path. And with the company’s recognition of his outstanding record, Mark was always sure that his target was well within reach.
But there’s recognition...and there’s recognition. Sure, Mark was constantly praised for his performance and results, but the proof of the pudding never came in the form of a promotion to president.
I met Mark one evening at my office. He quickly explained to me that seeing me was not his idea:
“It’s my wife, Kathy. She’s really been on my case the last couple of years. She can’t seem to get her head around the fact that I work until 8:00 pm most evenings, let alone Saturdays, and I still haven’t been promoted to president.”
I continued to listen.
“But to tell you honestly, Etika,” he admitted. “How can an executive coach really help me? No disrespect to you, of course, but I’m the only one that knows what’s happening at my company. I don’t think that any psychological theories will really be of any help.”
I invited Mark to sit down and he hesitantly followed my lead. He continued:
“Believe me, Etika, if you could help me get Kathy off my back, I would be grateful, but isn’t this a tall order for someone like you?”
“I like your candidness, Mark,” I answered. First let’s set some ground rules. You can say anything you want to me, even if you think it might be hurtful.”
“And guess what, Mark, I continued. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I can’t help you. It’s happened before.”
Mark seemed slightly shocked by my response. After all, what kind of executive coach says they might not be able to help their client? But his face seemed to relax and he became more open.
“Look, Etika, I don’t have anything against executive coaches or other consultants. I even have some subordinates who’ve gotten a lot out of coaching sessions. I just think that it would be sort of mission impossible to help someone with my experience. How could you possibly know what I’m going through?”
“I respect what you’re saying,” I answered. “But let me ask you a question.”
“Sure,” Mark said.
“When a couple sees a therapist because they’re considering a divorce, do you think that in order for the therapist to treat the couple, the therapist needs to have personally experienced a divorce?” I asked.
Mark cracked a slight smile, showing me that he understood my point.
“You don’t have to answer, I can read your face,” I offered. “So Mark, if a therapist doesn’t have to have experienced divorce to treat a couple with marital issues, why do you think that an executive coach needs to have been a CEO?”
I continued, “Why don’t we think of these professionals as being competent in helping others navigate their own experiences, rather than as dispensers of marital or managerial advice?”
“Why is this so important?” Mark asked.
“Because I want you to really believe, Mark, that an executive coach can help you achieve your career aspirations,” I answered.
“Of course, you don’t have to be convinced right away,” I conceded. “But if you’re already here, I’d like for you to at least leave here with some insight as to why you aren’t open to getting any help.”
Mark smiled cooperatively. “Etika, as I told you before, I’ve been a heck of a VP the last eleven years. I honestly don’t think there’s anything that I can do to get myself promoted. It’s just not the right time now for the company.”
“I understand your point, Mark,” I answered. “But would you say that being number two is the same as being number one?”
“To tell you the truth,” Mark answered. “I used to think it was, but lately I’ve realized that the two positions are very similar in terms of day-to-day, but oceans apart when it comes to responsibility.”
I then asked, “Can you try to imagine situations in which number two does an excellent job but can never be number one?”
Mark responded, “Well, theoretically, yes, I suppose, but you’ve got to understand that this is not my situation.”
I smiled.
“Why are you smiling, Etika?” Mark asked.
“Because you really believe in what you’re saying,” I answered. “You see yourself as ready to be number one, yet eleven years have elapsed and you still aren’t there.”
“If you don’t mind, Mark,” I asked. “Let’s explore why you think that getting help from a coach won’t work.”
“Sure,” Mark responded. “First of all, no one else has my experience, so what could they possibly add?”
“And second, I know that I’m ready to be number one; it’s just a matter of the right timing.”
“And when I come to think of it, Etika, I came to you today because of these two points, but thanks to you, it’s really just the second one.”
“Glad I could be of help, Mark,” I offered.
“Can I ask you something, Etika?” Mark asked.
“Of course,” I responded.
“Judging from our conversation so far, do you think I need help?” Mark asked.
“Well, Mark,” I answered. “As I see it, that’s really not the important question here. What’s important is that we can only help people who think they need help - and are willing to receive it.”
“And regarding what you’ve expressed today, I’m sure everything is well-founded, as it’s based on your personal experiences and circumstances, so I really can’t argue with any of it.”
“But I’m not going to let you leave here empty-handed,” I said. “I’d like you to consider a few things.”
“I’m all ears,” Mark said.
“When someone is stuck in a certain way of thinking, on one hand, it’s good because it shows determination. But on the other hand, it prevents us from seeing the whole picture. We only see a slice of it.”
“Yes, I can see that,” Mark said.
“And regarding the question of the right timing, I agree with you, but then you’ve given up any control over your own fate. I would encourage you to look for something you can do, rather than just wait for the right time,” I advised.
“That is something to think about, Etika,” Mark said.
“And from my experience, Mark, success blinds us, and then we realize too late that we’ve missed out on some very important things, which are often important changes.”
“Wow, I’ve never thought of success as something that could be so dangerous,” Mark said.
I got up and shook Mark’s hand.
"Mark, I really enjoyed meeting you today. I hope you’ve left with something to think about for your future.”
“I certainly did, Etika,” Mark answered. He pulled out his phone. “Can we schedule our next meeting, let’s say, for Wednesday?”
“I’d love to work with you, Mark,” I answered. “But let’s give you some time to think about why you’ve changed your mind about executive coaching. When you’ve gathered some insight, give me a call and we’ll schedule our next meeting.”
“Will do,” Mark answered.
And always remember:
Great managers are made. Not born.
For those of you reading about my meetings with Jennifer for the first time, here’s a short recap: Jennifer is a successful executive coach whom I mentored for several years. Recently, one of her major clients replaced her workshop with a digital course, rattling Jennifer’s confidence and prospects about the future of face-to-face coaching, which she felt would ultimately affect her executive coaching rates. In the last two posts, Jennifer and Etika met at a coffee shop, where they began to explore the advantages digital tools can provide to their coaching practices.
After my last meeting with Jennifer, I received a notice about a digital learning meetup taking place at the beginning of next month. Thinking that this would be a great opportunity to introduce Jennifer to digital learning tools, and hopefully allay her fear of reduced executive coaching rates, I forwarded the invitation to her and wrote her a note inviting her for coffee at the after the meetup at the end of the day.
After a truly stimulating meetup, with all kinds of innovative digital tools being presented and demonstrated by dozens of firms, I sat down in the break area and waited for Jennifer.
“Etika!” she shouted. “There you are. What an amazing meeting! I can’t believe all of the awesome innovations I’ve seen. So many ideas. Such brilliance.”
I smiled. “I’m so happy you enjoyed today, Jennifer.” I gave her a hug.
“I’m blown away, Etika. Now I’m starting to understand what you’ve been getting at all along,” said Jennifer. “Etika, you told me at our last meeting that you’ve also been developing something, right?”
I answered, “Well, it’s actually all developed...and in use. But it took me over five years until I felt I’d gotten it right.”
“Five years?” Jennifer was amazed.
“And add to that the 35 years of experience and knowledge it’s based on,” Etika added. “But now it’s being successfully used by managers all over the world.”
Jennifer said, “Enough suspense, Etika. Tell me about it!”
“With pleasure,” I answered. “But first, do you remember what I said are the two main advantages of digital learning tools?”
“I certainly do,” Jennifer quickly responded. “I’m still a good student. The first is that because of the anytime/anywhere delivery, digital tools allow us to help many more clients, especially those who might be too busy for face-to-face coaching.”
“You really are a good student,” I said. “Go on.”
“And the second one,” she said, “Is that we can offer a wider range of solutions, therefore ensuring that clients receive customized service.”
“Bravo!” I congratulated. “Well, these two principles guided me in my development of the Executive Mirror Program.”
“The Executive Mirror Program?” Jennifer repeated. “Tell me more.”
“The Executive Mirror Program, or EMP for short.” I continued, “It’s an online course for managers who are stuck in their career. They feel as if they are never going to get promoted and have begun losing hope.”
“From my practice,” Jennifer said, “I’ve noticed that this is a huge niche and it keeps growing.”
“No doubt.” I explained, “It seems that with hypercompetitiveness, more managers are fighting for their careers than in the past. In fact, 70% of managers these days define themselves as stuck to some degree.”
“That’s a huge number, Etika,” Jennifer responded. “So there’s your first principle, helping as many managers as possible - wherever they are.”
“Bingo,” I answered. “With so many stuck managers, all of the face-to-face hours in the world wouldn’t be able to help them all. That’s why the self-paced online EMP is a perfect solution for them.”
“It certainly is. And what about your second principle, Etika,” asked Jennifer.
“You mean customized learning, I assume. Well, thanks to sophisticated algorithms, the EMP is actually dynamically tailored for each and every client. No cookie-cutter programs,” I proudly stated.
“So as a coach, you can actually provide a highly-customized solution to each of your clients,” Jennifer added.
“Yes,” I said. “Something that would’ve been impossible without digital tools.”
“But what about the personal touch, Etika?” Jennifer asked. “Aren’t there managers out there who still want to talk to a live coach.”
“Of course, Jennifer,” I agreed. “And that’s why the EMP can be seamlessly combined with face-to-face coaching. In the digital learning world, we call this hybrid coaching.”
“I see,” Jennifer answered. “A hybrid between online and face-to-face.”
“Indeed,” I said. “And that’s why I’ve developed a certification course for coaches who’d like to integrate the EMP into a hybrid coaching program.”
“That’s really forward-thinking, Etika,” Jennifer said. “So the EMP can also be used as part of a live coaching program.”
“That’s right. Maximum flexibility in delivering a tailored experience,” I said. “This is a major advantage that digital learning tools can offer us.”
I added, “And don’t forget, Jennifer. Our clients are already experiencing 24/7 learning online, whether it’s checking out a series of YouTubes on a subject or taking a full university course.”
“So you’re saying our clients will come to expect digital learning tools?” Jennifer asked.
“No doubt,” I answered. “And if we want to remain at the forefront of our field, as you’ve done so far, Jennifer, we’ve got to meet their expectations.”
“Etika, I think that I now really understand where you’re coming from,” Jennifer said. “It’s amazing that you had the foresight to predict all of this five years ago. I feel like such a dinosaur.”
“Nonsense, Jennifer,” I answered. “Like our clients, we avoid change, so sometimes we don’t let ourselves see what’s really happening around us.”
“Well, you’ve certainly opened my eyes, Etika,” Jennifer admitted.
“I’m glad, Jennifer. That’s what being your mentor has always been about,” I responded.
“So when do I get to check out your EMP, Etika,” Jennifer asked.
“Why don’t you come by my office tomorrow at 9, Jennifer,” I offered. “I’ll show you a full demo. I’m sure you’ll find it both innovative and fascinating.”
“I’m sure of that, Etika. Looking forward,” Jennifer said.
With that, we got up, hugged as usual, and left the conference center, both of us contemplating our bright future with the help of digital learning tools.
And always remember:
Great managers are made. Not born.
At this time of year, as we gather with our loved ones to celebrate the holidays, we find ourselves reflecting on our lives - family, friends, and career. Often, we ask ourselves where we are in achieving our dreams. Are we completely satisfied? Are we possibly a little disappointed? This is probably why one of the most popular greetings during this time of year is “may all your dreams come true.”
So what about your career dreams? Have you met your own expectations? To help you along, allow me to wish you 4 things this holiday season.
Holiday Wish #1: Unleash your dreams.
At this magical time of year, dare to dream what you’ve never dreamed before. Dreams allow us to think “out of the box” - to transcend the normal borders of our imagination - beyond how to measure success at work. Use your innate ability to dream about your dream career - especially if it seems to be “the impossible dream.” You see, such “impossibility” is actually the stuff dreams are made of...and facing impossibility in your dreams is the only way to overcome it in life. Here are four useful reminders that will hopefully get you dreaming:
Just as in fairy tales, in real life, dreams are meant to come true.
Every great thing we’ve ever known - ideas, inventions, cures - started with a dream.
If you don’t have a dream, you can’t make it come true.
Holiday Wish #2: Visualize your success.
This holiday season, do overtime. No, not at work - visualizing. Clearly visualizing the results of your dreams is a crucial bridge towards making the impossible a reality and part of how to measure success at work. This is because of the simple fact that anything you can visualize, you can accomplish.
So start by visualizing yourself in your corner office. What does it look like? Where is your desk? What’s the view outside your window? Then visualize yourself in different situations in your new job. What’s it like to run a staff meeting? Give an important presentation? Determine a budget? Don’t worry if your visualizations are a little dull or blurred at the beginning. The more you visualize, the sharper and more detailed the images will become. And make sure that your other senses (hearing, smelling, feeling, maybe even tasting) get in on the act as well. The more senses you involve, the more you’ll actually really know what it’s like to have your dream job. So close your eyes and get to work.
Holiday Wish #3: Put your visualization into words.
After you’ve visualized your dream job in as much detail as possible, seize the opportunity to express it in words. When we put our dream job into words, we make it concrete so that we can set the goals needed to turn it into reality. When putting your visualization into words, here are some general questions you should answer:
1. What is your dream job?
2. When do you want to begin it?
3. What are some of the major milestones you’ll need to accomplish along the way?
So start putting things into words - whether you write them down or record them, now is the time.
Holiday Wish #4: Plan it out.
If you’ve gotten this far (with or without the egg nog), consider how you’ll start realizing your dream as you begin the new year. Of course, this isn’t the time to make a very detailed plan, but while you’ve got things going, it would be a good idea to think about the following:
1. Break down your overall dream job goal into smaller, more manageable “mini-goals.”
2. Assign a rough due date for each of these mini-goals.
3. Keep your eyes on the ball. No backup plans.
4. And of course, believe in your dreams!
And finally, I’d like to wish you a very joyous holiday season, filled with love, happiness, and peace for all.
Best wishes
Etika
P.S. And don’t forget. Great managers are made. Not born.
“What’s bothering you, Marlene?”
As I watched her playing around with her curry, I understood that my friend and coaching colleague wasn’t up to eating, even though we were having lunch at her favorite Indian restaurant.
“I think I have to turn down a client and I really feel guilty,” she answered as she continued to shift her curry from side to side. She hadn’t even touched her wine, either.
“So if you’re feeling so guilty, why not consider taking them on?” I probed.
“You know the story, Etika. We’ll have two or three sessions and then I’ll begin wishing I hadn’t accepted them, even at generous executive coaching rates” she answered.
“Then it actually looks like you’re smart for turning them down. So why is it bothering you so much?” I asked.
“Well, without getting into too much detail, this time it’s the CEO of a very high profile hi-tech company, with promising executive coaching rates.”
“Impressive!” I commented.
“Yes, but if I tell you about our first meeting, you’ll understand where I’m coming from,” Marlene said.
“I’m all ears.”
“Well,” Marlene began. “It started off with the way she spoke to me on the phone. Something in her very cold tone told me that I shouldn’t move things forward. But I did,” Marlene lamented. “I guess it was because she’s so high profile.”
“Fair enough. Been there. Done that,” I admitted.
“So, we set up a meeting at her office the next day. Without even a minute of small talk, she sat me down in front of her desk and complained to me that her team doesn’t get along with her,” Marlene recounted.
“Well, from the sound of how she spoke to you, I’m not that surprised,” I interjected.
“Indeed. But then she told me that the reason she wants to hire me is to force the team to cooperate with her!”
“Force? That’s a pretty strange way of doing things,” I said surprisingly.
“Wait, Etika, here’s the best part,” Marlene continued. “In the same breath, she asserted that she doesn’t see herself as part of the problem and that she won’t be involved in the coaching process.”
“Pretty low in the self-awareness department, I’d say,” I answered.
“And,” Marlene added. “At the end of the process, she wants a report of which employees I was able to change and who needs to be fired.”
“Is this person for real?” I asked flabbergasted.
“One hundred percent,” Marlene answered. “And she even tried to sweeten the deal by saying that if I succeed, I’ll have a lot more work at her company.”
“So you were tempted?” I asked.
“I don’t know if I was tempted or confused,” Marlene admitted. “I think that I wasn’t really sure how to respond, so I began asking her a few questions about her relationship with her team, what she expects, etc. All of it quickly confirmed my suspicion that she was just looking for someone to create an army of robots.”
“Sounds like an accurate diagnosis,” I commented.
“And so I pretty much instantly realized that this wasn’t the kind of coaching work I could or wanted to do,” Marlene concluded.
“I wholeheartedly concur,” I responded. “So why are you upset?”
“Well, the minute I realized this, I became overridden with guilt - professional, business, and even personal guilt,” Marlene said. “So I didn’t tell her ‘no’. In fact, our meeting ended with the CEO instructing her personal assistant to set up a series of meetings between the team members and me. But as I said, I don’t feel that I can go through with it. Yet the guilt is still there.”
“I get it, and I understand where you’re coming from, because, as I said, I’ve been there,” I answered. “So let me tell you a little bit about how I deal with occasional guilt.”
“Yes, Etika, please do,” Marlene urged.
“First off,” I began. “Whenever any guilty feelings begin to appear, I try to nip them in the bud.”
“Makes sense. But how?” Marlene asked.
“By always developing and maintaining my self-awareness, both as a professional and as a person,” I explained. “The better we know ourselves - what’s right for us, what’s not right for us, who we can help, and who we can’t, the better our lives will be.”
“I’m not sure I’m following you,” Marlene admitted.
“You see, Marlene, the sharper our awareness is, the easier it is to make the right choices, whether they are professional or personal. And when we’re sure our choices are the right ones, we don’t feel guilty about them,” I explained.
“So are you saying that you can just turn down a client and not think twice about it?” Marlene asked.
“You bet. In fact, I’ll even feel good about it,” I answered.
“Because you’ve made it very clear to yourself by staying in tune with your self-awareness,” Marlene interjected.
“Exactly,” I said.
“So I’ve got some serious work to do with my self-awareness,” Marlene concluded. “Etika, would you mind meeting with me a couple of times to mentor me on raising my self-awareness?”
“You don’t even need to ask,” I answered. “I was just going to suggest we meet next week for lunch. But this time, I want to see you enjoy your food!”
“You know, I’m already feeling better,” Marlene said. “And I have a suspicion that as soon as I call a certain CEO, my appetite will return.”
I raised my glass of wine and proposed a toast, “to not feeling guilty”.
And always remember:
Great managers are made. Not born.
As if corporate life is not tough enough, the recent economic uncertainty has added even more stress and tension to the lives of our clients. Now, more than ever, our clients need us. Yet organizations are now watching every penny, and coaching is often one of the first expenses to be deleted from the budget. So as coaches, committed to our clients’ success, especially in the eye of the economic storm, should we provide our services for free?
If you’ve been in the coaching business for more than ten years, you’ll probably remember the dramatic downturn following the 2008 financial crisis. And there have been other similar situations, such as the 2000 dot com bust as well. My point is that if you haven’t already, you’ll be experiencing your share of sharp dips, like the current one, throughout your coaching career.
What’s common to times of trouble is that, as coaches, we painfully experience the gap between the declarations of CEOs that “human capital is key to success” and the actual resources management will invest to protect their people in times of strife.
For many years, I was frustrated by this gap, especially in light of “hints” I received from big corporates to “pitch in” and provide my services pro bono. In fact, recently, colleagues and supervisees have gotten in touch to ask for advice on this very issue. On one hand, their clients are in great need of coaching, and yet on the other hand, they face difficulty in affording coaching sessions. Then our conversations usually spiral into two key questions: “Why do my clients feel comfortable asking me to work for free when they would never even dream of engaging another professional without paying them? Why is coaching seen as different?”
My answer to the first question is related to the second one. Coaching is different. And you are perceived by your client as the only person who can help them weather the storm. People need coaching all of the time and under all circumstances, whether the market is up or down....but especially when it’s down.
Once I internalized this myself towards the beginning of my career, I simply disconnected the “logical” equation of need equals payment. When organizations tighten their belts and freeze coaching services, this doesn’t mean that our services aren’t needed. In fact, they are badly needed.
With the uncertainty brought on by the current economy, my clients are getting in touch in droves. And yes, I feel it’s my duty as their coach to be there for them. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not ignoring the fact that I am providing them with my professional services without full (or any) payment. However, what I do know is that I am needed.
But I don’t have all of the answers. For example, I don’t know how many people I can help, and I don’t know how long I’ll be able to help them for. But for the time being, I’m framing the work I’m doing as “volunteering,” which I have always integrated into my life anyway.
I know that with our chaotic lives and great uncertainty, volunteering might not be a viable solution. There have been periods in my career when I’ve been more limited than I am today. What I’d like for you to understand, as a fellow coach, is that you are key to your clients’ success - no matter what the budget people might tell you.
Have you been approached by clients to provide pro bono or reduced rate work? How do you feel about it? Are there any creative ways we can help our clients during the current turndown?
And always remember:
Great managers are made. Not born.
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